Josh was sterilized at a clinic that specializes in ending male fertility. Often, guys refer to the process as being “snipped” but in reality the proper name for the procedure is a vasectomy. He shares his story.
I’ll be the first to admit I never thought I’d be “one of those guys”. You know the ones. That shoot blanks. When I was younger I didn’t think about fertility too much at all. As long as I used a condom when I spent time with my girl of the week, I figured I was safe from any surprises that involved changing diapers.
When I met my future wife, she was already on birth control. After a few dates, I was ready to trust her taking the pill. We got married and she stayed on it for a while. But then… well… baby time. Diapers aren’t so bad once you get to also hold your own baby and cuddle them. They even smell good most of the time. We had a little girl first, and then another little girl. Which made the score three to one in our house.
We agreed to try one more time to get things a little more even. But we were also pretty sure three was enough. We talked about the options to make sure three was the end. Kayla was pretty nervous about the idea of having her tubes tied and she didn’t want to keep taking the pill as she got older. She suggested that its a lot easier for the guy to be taken care of in the baby making department.
We decided that once she was pregnant with our third, an appointment would get made for me and I’d do my part in family planning.
The first couple times had felt very manly. Its a nice feeling to know you are “putting a bun in the oven” so to speak. It feels very manly to make a baby and have your girl want to grow and look after your baby. The third time felt different. I knew it was the last time I was going to get Kayla pregnant. Or anyone else. Once this baby was made I wasn’t going to be able to make more. Its a weird feeling but also arousing in a way. I felt like I was on a mission to make that baby boy and complete our family.
Kayla was a couple days late when we did the pregnancy test. It was positive. With the first couple pregnancies she had morning sickness pretty strong. She had it all planned out for me to have my surgery when she wasn’t feeling great and then I’d be all healed up and ready for when her second trimester needs hit hard. She made the appointment for me and texted me at work “you’re being snipped next week”.
I read that text a few times over the next couple days. Me. My turn. I was going to be one of those guys.
When I went to the clinic they were nice. The receptionist at the front mentioned Kayla had told them I was nervous about it. They had a couple little white pills for me to take that would help me feel more comfy. Once I swallowed them, I got to sit in a chair in the waiting room until it was my turn. I saw a couple guys go in, and a couple guys come out… and I realized I was just staring into space waiting. The little pills had calmed me right down.
I got taken in next and I felt like I was on autopilot. I got undressed from the waist down and sat in the chair. I covered myself with the little blanket and just waited. In a few minutes I’d be sterile. I thought about my baby growing inside Kayla. I just didn’t feel ready for it to be the last one. Babies are cute and my babies are super cute. It wouldn’t be so bad to make room for a fourth one.
The doctor was an older guy. I wondered how many times he had done this? When he uncovered me the first thing he did was tape me into the up position so that I wouldn’t be in the way of the work he had to do. Moments later I felt a couple little stings. The assistant asked me to lean back and look at the ceiling. We had to wait a few minutes for the medicine to help me get numb. The doctor asked me some about sports, which team I liked. I ended up blurting out that my wife was pregnant.
He asked how many we had and I told him it was our third. I could feel him checking me, some pressure down there. I was waiting for him to ask if I was sure I wanted to go ahead with the surgery. I knew he was doing the exam to make sure everything was fine down there if I wanted to go ahead. He asked why I decided to be sterilized. And I told him that I wasn’t sure I was ready, but my wife had wanted me to at least check into it and see if it was possible for me.
He was calm and just asked me to explain what I meant. I told him how we thought three was enough but that I might be ok with a fourth baby. And so maybe I should just know it was be possible to be done but not actually go ahead with it yet. I don’t think I will ever forget how calmly he told me that he has just finished sterilizing me. “Josh you won’t be making any more babies”
It was the strangest feeling in the world to realize I was done already while I was still considering if I was ready for it.
I was sore for a few days and then I was pretty much back to normal. At least physically. I’m finding some weird thoughts in my head now. I’m a guy so I’ve always looked at other women some. And I never really even thought about knocking them up. But now when I see someone attractive one of the first thoughts is “I can’t get her pregnant”. I feel useless knowing I can’t do that – even thought I had no plans to do it anyway.
Kayla hasn’t delivered yet but a few weeks ago we went to the ultrasound appointment to reveal the gender. My third little girl is growing inside her mom. And no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to make a boy baby now. I still make sperm but there is no way for me to deposit it inside Kayla.. or anyone else. I’ve become “one of those guys”.
